&fterthought.

Mess.

Mon, 06 May 2013 20:53:41 -0700

If you’d asked me, you wouldn’t have gotten a decent answer. It was true - I honestly felt like my room wasn’t that messy, everything was just…convenient to access. I could say with 85% confidence where any single thing in my room was, or so I had hoped.

Then I had company come over. Out of nowhere I felt a shock of fear. They didn’t have to say anything - I knew immediately from the anxiety of having to show them my room. The door swung shut and I kept the guests in the living room, but Deborah caught on. Later that night I showed her my horrendous situation in shame, and the following day she helped me clean everything up.

Isn’t it strange how easily a situation can become more chaotic without us being aware of it? That’s how I feel with certain sins in my life. Habits that I thought were normal or even righteous were actually harmful and unloving when exposed to other people. Sometimes even reading the Word will convict me of a sinful habit, tendency, or attitude that I never knew of (my current conviction is Romans 12:10 - honor one another).

In Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of the lost son. Here’s a young man who takes a huge portion of his father’s inheritance and lives the life. After some time though, he starts to realize that he’s run out of money and needed a job, especially with a famine coming.

^”So he went and hired himself out to^[a] one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs.” (Luke 15:15)

Was this the life that he was hoping for after taking his father’s money and bolting? Not at all! This situation became more chaotic without him knowing.

Sometimes, the Lord takes us to the troughs of animals so that we can “come to our senses” like it states in v. 17.

If it were up to me, I would much rather be accountable to the company of God-given community than be miserable in the company of pigs.

Seasons.

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 21:12:00 -0700

It’s March 25th, well into springtime, and we just had a snow flurry for the majority of the day in New York. As much as I love seeing the snow fall from the 25th floor of my Times Square building, I’m starting to sense the urgency for spring. On the streets, you can just sense that winter has extended its stay for far too long. After all, no matter how many days you’ve felt the bitter wind on your face, it’s never something you really get used to.

Looking forward, we see that winter isn’t the only season with its set of challenges.

After winter comes a time of new birth, and a time of fresh allergies.

After spring comes a time of sunny days, and a time of hot, humid nights.

After summer comes a time of vibrant color, and a time of school.

In one of the most poetic sections of scripture, the writer of Ecclesiastes 3 describes all of life in this way:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

²a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
³a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
⁴a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
⁵a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
⁷a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
⁸a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

The one thing that holds true to every season we experience is that they change. The trees will start a new life cycle, and so will our future families. The snow will eventually cease to fall, and so will our tears.

Read verse 1 again though: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

It then struck me like a ton of bricks - while this may be true for us under heaven, it will not be true for us while in heaven. How do I know this?

The seasons may change, but Jesus never does.

Our feelings may come and go, but Jesus remains faithful.

What Jesus reveals to John in Revelation is astounding: at the end of the age, there will come a time when the seasons of life will be no more.

There will be a time when there is no time to weep, only laughter.

No time of war, only peace.

No time of killing, only healing.

No time of death, only everlasting, eternal, unending, unchanging, all-fulfilling, solely joyful, sinless, life!

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. ²And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God,prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. ³And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold,the dwelling place^[a] of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,^[b] and God himself will be with them as their God.^[c] ⁴He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” -Revelation 21:1-4

Oh, how I long for the day one hundred thousand years from now when I can look back at this beautifully written poem of wisdom in Ecclesiastes and find it to be incredibly outdated!

Cymbals.

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 08:30:00 -0800

Honestly though, can you imagine a more irritating sound than a person banging away on a drumset with no desire to play it appropriately? It sounds horrendously loud, incessantly rude, and causes my hands to fill my ears with anything that can drown the sound out.

Yet on the flip side, is there anything more powerful and driving than an experienced drummer playing to the fullest of his passion and strength along with a band? It carries the band to levels of intensity it could never go without one.

It’s interesting that both are making the same sounds at around the same volume, yet one is painful, the other is powerful. One is annoying, the other is amazing.

I found examples of this kind of distinction in the bible in two different passages:

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” - 1 Corinthians 13:1

“Praise him with sounding cymbals;
praise him with loud clashing cymbals!” - Psalm 150:5

Both are audibly the same, yet are used in completely different contexts. One is detestable, the other is delightful. One is woeful, the other is worshipful.

After much thought, I came to the conclusion that there was a difference - a huge one, but not one that can be heard - it’s about motivation.

There are people who hit cymbals just to be heard. These are the people that do things without being motivated by love like mentioned in 1 Corinthians. These are the people that pray out loud on the streets so that other people can recognize and acknowledge them. These are the people that boast about their knowledge to make them feel superior to others. Paul warns us against having this kind of attitude.

Then there are people who hit cymbals for a greater purpose. These are the people that see the value of playing in a part of a band. These are the people who want to hit cymbals as hard as they can to make God look good, not themselves. These are the people that are obviously motivated by something other than seeking attention and fame for themselves.

The crazy part? Even a talented musician can serve with the wrong intentions and be like white noise to God. Even a novice can play poorly out of a worshipful heart and be a sweet, sweet sound to God.

So I’m left with this reality check: What is my motivation in serving God today?

Theory.

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 07:18:00 -0800

(The Circle of Fifths. Music is so mathematical and beautiful!)

While in many ways I don’t consider myself established enough to be a professional musician, I pride myself in my knowledge of music theory. With it, I can predict where songs are going, replicate them after they’ve been played once, and come up with fairly decent songs simply because I am so familiar with the structure of chords and melodies.

At the same time, mastering music theory does not mean that one will have a successful music career, or that everything you write will be a great song (I can definitely attest to that). Paul McCartney is famous for purposely not learning music theory, and he’s had some success in writing songs, I think.

The strange thing about utilizing music theory in songwriting is that I believe it has some disadvantages:

It can limit my ability to do something new. Many of my melodies are safe and sound “normal”. Why? It’s partly because I know what typically “works” and what doesn’t - much of what I create then becomes an amalgamation of what’s already been done before.
It makes me judgmental towards things that I don’t understand. If I hear a strange jazz melody and can’t tell where in the scale it is, it turns me off from enjoying the melody and remembering it. Not that I don’t consider it music, but if I don’t understand it, how can I enjoy it?
It gives me a superiority complex to those that don’t know what I know.

When I think about it, I come across the same challenges when it comes to theology. As I learn more about God and the wealth of knowledge that’s contained in the Bible, I come across those same pitfalls.

It can limit my ability to do something new. My faith is pretty safe and I stick to what I can remember. I hardly want to venture out of my comfort zone for God.
It makes me judgmental towards things that I don’t understand. If, at 25 years old, I don’t see things done the way I believe is biblical, then it certainly must not be!
It gives me a superiority complex to those that don’t know what I know. Sure, I may not be the most charitable guy in town, but at least I know what substitutionary atonement is…right?

This isn’t the point of gaining knowledge! It’s better not to learn at all than to learn and be stuck with those three realities. What really should be happening is best said in James 1:22-25.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

My music theory should be leading me to make more music, and to do it well.

My theology should be leading me to more Gospel-based action, and to do it well.

Because the last thing I would want is to pursue all this knowledge, only to be told that it was worthless.

Compass.

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:40:00 -0800

Back in California, I was proud in my sense of direction. I always knew my frame of reference because I was accustomed to where the sun would set. It didn’t matter if I was in a remote area of California that I had never explored, I rarely ever felt like I didn’t even know which direction I was going.

In New York, my internal compass that was so finely tuned in California is now completely thrown off. Even after working here for two months, I have to think twice about which direction I’m going. My confidence in exploring uncharted land has dwindled to me becoming very dependent on Google Maps (which, by the way, has still caused more issues for me than Apple Maps).

While part of the reason this has happened is because I’m in new surroundings, I mostly blame the buildings and the weather. After all, how can I get accustomed to the sun when I’m constantly dwelling in the shadows of massive skyscrapers? How am I supposed to know where the sun is when it’s near-dark in the middle of the day?

Upon dwelling on my directional frustrations, I remembered that our spiritual lives definitely need a compass. This is what the psalmist is talking about in Psalm 119:

How can a young man keep his way pure?
By guarding it according to your word.
With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!

Being in a bustling, wild, and extravagant city like New York, I can honestly say that it’s easy to lose sight of what’s truly important. Luxuries surround my senses, joyous drinking and “nights to forget”, heightened sexuality (especially in certain parts of Times Square) - all these things serve as manmade distractions which block out the Son.

Then there are horrific tragedies like Hurricane Sandy and the Newton shooting (which was only about 60 miles from NYC) – abominable things that make it seem as though the Son was never there.

But just because I don’t see or feel the Son doesn’t mean that He’s not there. Just because other things are in the way does not negate His constant presence.

Jesus Christ, the true Son of God, has made it very apparent that “that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

If Christ is my compass, then how can I ever be lost?

Callous.

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 15:13:44 -0800

Whenever I am involved with someone learning guitar for the first time, I usually hear the following:

“Are my fingers supposed to hurt this much?”

To which I respond: “If your fingers aren’t bleeding, you’re alright.” (although I’ve played til my fingers bled, and I thought it was hardXcore)

Then as the guitar gets put away and the fingers aren’t used as rigorously, a peculiar thing happens - Our fingers get healed without us knowing it. There is zero effort on our part on how this is accomplished, but a day or two later, our fingers are as tender and strong as they were before the strings were pressed.

Things start to change as the guitarist goes through this cycle over and over again.

Press in, feel the sting, be healed.
Press in, feel the sting, be healed.
Press in, feel the sting, be healed.

You can press in for longer. You feel the sting less. Your body doesn’t do anything to heal you, because of the thick skin you’ve developed on your fingers. You become calloused.

Our hearts work the exact same way. We may feel very remorseful for our sin at first, but end up back to pressing into sin again. It stings for awhile. By the grace of God we are lifted up and restored, only to press into sin again.

How many times are we to press into the strings of Satan and play his music?

How many times are we to feel the sting and not realize the thick skin that’s developing?

How many times are we to take advantage of the grace given to us in restoration?

¹⁷So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. ¹⁸They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. ¹⁹Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. -Ephesians 4:17-19

I need to check myself to ensure that my callousness towards certain sins don’t lead to indulgence.

Sandy.

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 19:37:07 -0800

(A picture of Brooklynites waiting in line for a bus to get to work after Superstorm Sandy. Taken from this Buzzfeed post, which accurately portrays what I’m about to write about)

I’ll remember my first month in New York as the time we went through Superstorm Sandy. That week was truly the week that New York City was brought to its knees.

Houses were swept away. Over 100 lives taken. Parking lots turned into swimming pools. Millions were left without power (and many are still without power today).

That’s not all. Publicly, it looked even worse. Traffic lights were out, and there was little order in many of the streets in Queens.

People would park their cars on the street to wait in line for gas. Many waited upwards of 9 hours just to fill up their tank. We’re still going through shortages today.

I looked at the news and what was around me and felt like I was in a different country.

We are all at the mercy of nature. Specifically, we’re all at the mercy of God’s swift hand, who describes himself this way in Isaiah 45:

“I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things.”

It’s scary to think of a God that is capable of calamity. But at the same time, why would I worship a god who was just as powerful as I was? It’s through these events that I now have a greater appreciation of what it really means to fear the Lord.

Oh, how easy it is to be reverent of a God whose power is limitless!

Beggars.

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 10:41:00 -0700

A couple days ago, my life radically changed. Finally, the clean sweep that I was anticipating the beginning of the year is happening. I found a job in New York, and I’m leaving my work here in LA. It’s not just any job though, it’s a job that looks to be a lot of fun, in a company that looks to be a lot of fun, in a city that looks to be tons of fun. Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed by the amount of undeserved blessing that I’ve gotten in my life. It’s simply not fair.

On the way home after hearing all the good news, a woman with a sign that read “homeless with no job” in one hand and a baby in another appeared on my passenger’s side window. I was surprising because I didn’t see her, but it brought out a peculiar reaction in me - I quickly dismissed her and drove away. The initial shock of her outward appearance startled me into ignoring her needs.

When I got home I realized the utter selfishness of my heart. Here I was, having just gotten an offer for a great job, and someone without a job asks for money to feed her child, and I ignore her needs.

The next day however, I was outside of my work building when I got approached by another stranger. Immediately I knew that this was God giving me another chance to give to a person in need. Not only did I get to give him some bus fare money, I was able to share the gospel with him. I asked him about the cross around his neck, and he didn’t know what the significance of it was.

I told him about how the cross was a torturing device used to suffer the most pain possible before death. I told him about Christ and how He unjustly endured the cross while being innocent, and how we should deserve something far worse, and yet are able to pass through death unscathed because of Jesus. There was nothing we could have done to receive salvation - Christ did it for us and He gives it to us as a gift.

Although I thought I was informing this man of the Gospel, I realized that I desperately needed to hear it again.

My job doesn’t give me any right standing before a holy God. My status or salary won’t mean a thing once I’m six feet under. Nothing I could ever do could ever amount to my own salvation - ^“He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.” (2 Timothy 1:9)

I have nothing to boast in. Nothing to offer God.

Because rich or poor, we are all beggars.

Corolla.

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 14:27:00 -0700

A couple months ago, my mom got a brand new Hyundai Elantra. It’s sporty, sexy, has hot curves, drives well, and has the latest technology. I remember sitting at the dealer and marveling at 1) the fact that Hyundai has come so far in car making and 2) how ideal this car was for me - stylish yet cheap, has a good warranty and drives well.

I fantasized about getting it when my mom’s lease was over in 3 years, but then my car broke down and I needed to find a car quickly. Luckily, I was able to get a great deal on a Corolla in good condition. If nobody knew that my previous car had broken down, they probably wouldn’t have been able to tell - my previous car was a gray 2003 toyota corolla, and my new car is a gray 2005 toyota corolla.

However, it’s completely different to me! I don’t have to roll up my windows, manually lock doors, hear my UFO-like brake sounds, and worry that it’s going to break down in the middle of the desert because of its high mileage.

One thing I realized when I got the Corolla was how quickly attached I was to it. I had forgotten the incredible draw I had towards the Elantra and was very satisfied with my own, even though it was old, used, and not as nice. What happened?

From this, I learned in a small way the power of possession. While the attributes of my Corolla are in themselves good things, the reason why I came to love them was because it was mine, not because it had power windows. There’s an incredible bond that forms once that commitment is understood in the heart. The car is mine because I love it, and I love it because it’s mine. There is no greater way to express love than through this circular reasoning.

Maybe in a small way we can understand the greater power of possession that God has for His people. Throughout the Old Testament we see a relatively small group of people, Israel, constantly being pursued and sanctified by God. Why did God choose Israel to be His chosen people? Why did God choose you to be a part of His chosen people?

We find a fascinating answer in Deuteronomy 7:7-8, explaining why God chose Israel.

It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the Lord set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples,but it is because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.

God didn’t love us because of what we had to offer, God loved us because…He loved us! He chose us and made us to be a part of His covenant, and through that selection, He loved us. This is great news! Why?

It means that God doesn’t love us because of what we do. If He did, then He would cease to love us once we stopped doing those things! Instead, He loves us in spite of what we do. All our screw-ups, our hypocrisy, our blatant rebellion towards God - it’s a wondrous thing that He doesn’t love me because of who I am.

He loves me because of who He is. And that makes all the difference.

LongDistance.2

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 10:44:00 -0700

Reflecting back on Deborah’s stay in California, I realized a peculiar habit of my behavior.

I recall the day of her landing, June 18th. Her flight was at 6 PM, which was perfectly timed to be right after my work. But what a drag, right? I’d have to sit through an entire day at work while knowing that Deborah’s coming in just a few hours, yet unable to talk to her at all! How could I keep still and stay focused? How could I get any work done?

While I imagined that entire day to be torturous, it actually turned out to be very pleasant and productive. I was positive, not anxious. I was working hard, not slacking off.

Fast forward to the last weekend of her stay, July 7th. We had planned a trip to my college campus, a visit to the beautiful Getty Center, and even a bonfire (something she’s never been to at a beach). What a day, right? It was planned to be just us, with a bunch of beautiful places to explore, and all day to do it! How could I ask for anything more? How could this day get any better?

While I imagined that entire day to be awesome, it actually turned out to be kind of stressful. I was moody, not joyful. I was quiet, not fun.

As I was thinking about the similar but opposite outcomes of these two events, I realized very profoundly this truth: What you believe about tomorrow determines how you feel about today.

I should have acted very differently according to the situations I was in, but because I knew what was to come, it affected the attitude I had during those situations.

As christians, we too are affected by this truth. The way we perceive everything should be in light of what is to come. This is what I mean:

But in keeping with his promise
we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth,
the home of righteousness. -2 Peter3:13

Therefore we do not lose heart.
though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles
are achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all. -2 Corinthians 4:16-17

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you, and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
To him be the power forever and ever. Amen -1 Peter 5:10-11

We are constantly to look at life through these lenses. Why sulk in a second of misery when we have an eternity of joy to hope in? Why condemn God for our trials when we know that they’re actually preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison?

No, instead try to actually believe in the bible you read so that people will notice! When I think about how I would describe my feelings towards the future in heaven, I start to worry. Because as excited as I was to be with Deborah for three weeks, it pales in comparison to the promise of Christ for eternity.

Or at least it should.

“We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groaninwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” -Romans 8:22-25

Apache.

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 16:06:00 -0700

It all started with the longing to see stars. I told Deborah that Joshua Tree was one of the best stargazing places to be at. We headed off Saturday afternoon to get a glimpse of heaven when out of nowhere in the middle of an uphill, two lane highway with no shoulder, my car gave out. As I was pulling over to the side of the road, blocking one of the lanes, I saw a van begin to slow down right after me.

“Get in! It’s dangerous here. I’ll take you somewhere safe.” A burly Apache man with no shirt on and a long ponytail beckoned us to get in. I hesitated for a moment, but knew he was sincere. After all, there were three young kids in the back.

He dropped us off at a gas station nearby, but he didn’t leave. I was already so grateful for his willingness to pull over for us, but he offered to buy us drinks at the mart. He noticed that I didn’t have triple A, so he let me use his card. After I called, he offered to take us to his place for drinks. He even knew a local mechanic who would be willing to take a look at the car, even though it was the weekend.

As I was taken aback by the kindness of this man, I nearly overlooked the finer details of this whole incident. Things like seeing a scrawny, young highway patrol officer with a badge named “R. Swanson”. Or visiting a neighbor’s house and seeing their three-legged tortoise. Or just the camaraderie of being in a small town and knowing everybody, even when you didn’t know everybody. Everything was beautiful.

When I got to spend time with his family, I realized how blessed Deborah and I were in our helpless situation. They invited us into their home. They offered to let us stay at their place as long as we needed. The pets were adorable. The young daughter even offered her Bieber-plastered room for us!

The best part of this whole trip? We still were able to see stars, we just were adopted into a family along the way. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Life doesn’t always happen the way we expect it to, but I think it’s better like that.

This past weekend I experienced a story I’ve known for years come to life. It’s the parable of the Good Samaritan. I was the helpless man left on the side of the road, and he was not who I had expected to come and help. He didn’t just help a little bit, but went out of his way to ensure that I was able to get back on my feet again. When I told him how grateful I was for his charity, he said simply to “pass it on”. What a simple, yet challenging phrase!

For the sake of my newly adopted family, I urge you to pass it on.

Even if it’s an inconvenience.

Even if it costs a little.

Even if it’s a little risky.

It cost Jesus everything to display His love for us. The least we can do is pay it forward.

We love because he first loved us. -1 John 4:19

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. -Romans 13:8

In-N-Out 2.

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:01:00 -0700

Oftentimes when I have a chance to think, I ponder the deep questions in life. Questions like, “What is the purpose of me being here on earth?”, “Where do I see myself in five years?”, or “If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, what would it be?” Serious questions.

I had In-N-Out for the second time in a week the other day, and I realized that as delicious as a double double is, it would never be my “life food” (it’s actually probably the opposite). It might taste good for a moment, but it isn’t the best thing for building up my body.

The spiritual body needs food too, and I know that it works in a similar way. Job says that he “treasures the words of [God’s] mouth more than [his] daily bread (Job 23:12).”

Psalm 119:103 says, “How sweet are your words to my taste,sweeter than honey to my mouth!”

Jesus describes himself this way: “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

And yet we feed ourselves with junk food all the time. We gorge on the internet and get full on things that only satisfy for a moment. (I’m lookin’ at you, 9Gag, Buzzfeed, Tumblr, and other related media). It’s mindless, thoughtless, hampers creativity, limits growth, and not to mention aggressively atheist with no forum for reasonable discussion. After hours of indulging on that, our brains become too tired to even want to do devos or read the bible! It’s such a tragedy, and many times I forget of the benefits of reading the Word.

What does the Word do?

It grants salvation. (1 Cor. 1:18)

It builds up. (Acts 20:32)

It encourages and gives us hope. (Romans 15:4)

It teaches, corrects, and trains us. (2 Tim. 3:16-17)

It can penetrate our deepest thoughts and motives. (Hebrews 4:12)

And on and on and on and on it goes.

What are you feeding yourself? Can it do anything the Word can?

In-N-Out.

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 23:25:00 -0700

-In the middle of easter service in New York-

Me:*grabs Deborah* DUDE.

Deborah: …umm…what?

Me: TODAY IS EASTER.

Deborah: …yes…and…?

Me: I CAN HAVE BURGERS AGAIN.

And thus released my voracious appetite for In-N-Out. I thought that giving up burgers and fries for lent would be relatively easy compared to other things I could have given up, but I was quickly proven wrong. Why did I crave it so much?

I don’t know, but two things will happen when I take a bite out of my first double double in almost two months.

1. The content gives me substance to continue living (provision). The protein, sugars, and carbs will all go to my body in its appropriate places to give me energy.

This isn’t the main reason why I’m excited to have an In-N-Out burger though. The main reason is that

2. The taste gives me pleasure to enjoy it (praise). This is the key. It’s very difficult to convince yourself to eat something if it doesn’t taste good, even if it’s good for you. How do I know that I enjoy it? You’ll hear me lean back with my mouth stuffed and go “…mmmmmmmm…..”

The crazy thing is that christianity works the same way. When the psalmist in psalm 34 says “Taste and see that the Lord is good…”, he’s not literally saying to take a bite, and then look at God and come to the conclusion that He’s good. He’s saying, “take a bite and come to the understanding that God is good.” Chew on it, and respond!

What exactly do you chew on? You chew on God’s word. His words are like honey on the lips. His words are like water for the soul. It’s no coincidence that this imagery comes up so often, it’s how we get a better understanding of how our soul works.

When I eat a burger, I respond by saying, “mmmmmm.” When I hear the word of God, I respond by saying, “hallelujah!”. It’s only natural!

The song “Hallelujah! What a Savior” is a great example of this. Why? Because each verse is structured by the outline of Psalm 34:8 -

The content (provision):

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?

The response (praise):

Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Take a listen to the song while reflecting on the lyrics, and train your spiritual taste buds to savor how sweet God’s salvation is. I promise that you’ll never go back to thinking that the Bible is “dull” or “boring”. ever.

LongDistance.

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 18:59:00 -0700

As I bid farewell to my wonderful girlfriend for the ninth time, it struck me that the next time I would see her in California would be the two year mark for us. The funny thing is that so many people ask how in the world I could do long distance for so long, and I don’t have a very good answer for them. They say that I’m crazy for staying in a relationship for so long. Now that it’s been a couple years since we’ve done it, I can now say I do have the answer.

In previous relationships, I’ve come across similar situations where I had to do long distance for a period of time, except they were closer and a lot more manageable. Whether it was across the city or across the state, it was definitely nothing like across the country. However, I found my heart struggling. There was no way that I could be happy with the situation, and I knew my heart wasn’t in it. What could have changed for me from being adamantly against long distance to being completely for it (and liking it)?

The answer? I met Deborah. At the end of her one week in California, she made it clear by saying, “You know that we’re not going to be in the same city for at least two years.”

But for some reason, instead of scaring me away, I thought, “Well. It looks like we have to do long distance.”

This is the power of meeting a loved one, but this is just a shadow of what love can do when the loved one is Jesus Christ. Compared to my earlier life, virtually every aspect of my life is radically different. I value different things, love different things, and abhor different things, all because I simply met Jesus. This is why Paul writes in 2nd Corinthians 5,

“If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here!”

There’s so many christians I know that don’t pray, don’t seek after God, don’t talk about Him, yet say they’re in a relationship with God. So when they’re asked to do something crazy like speak up about Jesus, go on missions, or even serve at church, it sounds like such a chore. It sounds so tedious. It’s like doing long distance with the wrong person.

But Jesus changes everything. He gives me a reason for living. He gives me a reason for loving. He gives me an answer for my suffering. He gives me hope for the world’s suffering. He’s even healed me of minor physical ailments.

But most of all, He gives me Himself, which is far more satisfying, gratifying, and worthy of praise than anything else in the world. It’s only when this clicks that evangelism, missions, serving, or even prayer becomes a delight rather than a chore.

Have you met Him?

Bullfight.

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:01:21 -0800

(Start at 1:05) I’m not quite sure if this qualifies as your typical bullfight. In fact, I don’t really know much of what’s going on here. However, here’s a few things I took away from this random video I found:

Spaniards are crazy
It takes about 7 able-bodied men to calm a charging bull
Giving people relationship advice is like telling a bull what to do

I say this knowing that there were many times where I’ve failed to listen to relationship advice myself, and it usually ended badly for me. So many warnings by parents and friends were completely dismissed as I went about blindly in my hopeless pursuits of love. So many suggestions by pastors or christian books that I would glance at but never take to heart.

Through getting older, I’ve realized that I can sympathize with someone’s emotions and situation, but I am always doubtful in expecting people to heed to my advice. I can’t help but be reminded of Jeremiah 17:9 - The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

This is why it astounds me when I witness someone coming to Christ. It completely changes someone’s heart. Their decisions are counter-intuitive compared to their previous life. Seeing this kind of transformation first hand is undeniable. With all this talk about there being hypocrites in church (which always will be true), what about those that actually have gone through an otherwise inexplicable transformation? How do you explain that?

And whatever you come up with, try telling that to a wild bull.

¹³ Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. ¹⁴ The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. -1 Timothy 1:13-14

Tebow.

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:07:11 -0800

There is Tebow-mania going on in the sports world and it’s incredibly polarizing. It seems that everyone has a stance on Tebow’s public acknowledgement of faith. Even people that don’t know much about football can say something about how they feel about Tebow praying after every touchdown. This is how oddly polarizing Tim Tebow is: there are non-christians who like Tebow for standing up for what he believes in, and there are christians who dislike Tebow for shoving their faith down people’s throats. How does an issue get more dividing than that?!

To non-christians against Tim Tebow:

If you’re going to attempt to make our God look ridiculous by making cute charts like this, then there’s a few things you need to know.

First: You hold an assumption that, if God existed, He is currently prioritizing Tebow’s football game over third world poverty. God’s priority is for His glory to be made known throughout the world. I’m not one to say whether it comes from a football game or not, but I know that it’s a bad assumption. You’re the one that prioritizes football over third world poverty, and you assume that God conveniently thinks the way you do!

Second: You also hold the assumption that it’s God’s fault that this poverty exists in the first place. If you’re going to assume that God exists, then why don’t you see what God says about the issue? What you’re going to find is that brokenness came to the world because of human (that includes your) sin, and God is in the business of restoring all brokenness. He is currently helping the poor, the sick, the hungry, and the dying through thousands of people that are more passionate about the issue than you are.

Third: Tim Tebow has spent a good portion of his free time (especially in the summers) ministering to the poor in the Philippines - more specifically, helping build orphanages, hospitals, and churches in the area. Why isn’t he doing it now then? Because through the NFL he’s able to fund the Tim Tebow Foundation and do more of God’s work than he could on his own. Not to mention he’s made John 3:16 one of the hottest search terms more than once. I think it’s safe to say that God’s using Tebow’s life powerfully for the sake of His glory.

To Christians against Tim Tebow:

Being a christian was never cool. Even though our country was founded on christian morals and religious freedom, the public will not see the Gospel message as cool, palatable, or even nice to hear. Why? Because nobody likes to hear that they’re a bad person and that they need someone to save them. So if you have a relationship with Jesus, it should not be in your interest to “keep the peace” or “try not to make anyone feel uncomfortable” when people’s eternal destinies are at stake. I say this knowing that I need to believe this much more than I do currently.

Above all else though, the reason why you should like Tim Tebow is because no matter what the score is for the Broncos vs. Patriots game, I know what his postgame speech will be.

He’ll humbly thank His Lord and Savior.

He’ll humbly thank his teammates and coaches.

And he’ll get right back to work without having done a single bad thing to you personally as you criticize his life.

2013.

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:04:00 -0800

Ever since I left college and entered into the post-education world, each year was able to provide for me a very clear and encapsulating theme in summary.

2009 - Out In The Ocean. This was the year of leaving the comfortable and entering into the great unknown. I felt like I had been floating along in this gentle stream for all my life, only to be thrust into a giant, haunting, endless body of water. My career path? Relationship future? Who knows? How do I know where to go?

2010 - From Vine To Vine. There were so many transitions this year. It gave me great clarity into many aspects of my life, at the expense of leaving what was comfortable. I left my part time job teaching guitar and found full-time work (after 4 months of searching). I left my church that I had been going to for over 10 years to go to TPC Joy. I even left my state to go to many different places (Japan, drove to New York, and Mexico).

2011 - Faith In Waiting. Not every year calls for immense change, and this was one of those years that felt like a standstill. Even though I felt like my life was stagnant, I knew God was active in teaching me. It wasn’t an easy year, but that’s not to say it wasn’t a fun one.

2012 - Clean sweep. This is the year that everything is going to change. I know it. When everything changes, what will my security and foundation be? I’ll know by the end of this year. God tends to show you what your biggest idols are when they’re threatened to be taken away, and everything about my life right now could possibly be changed or taken away.

God, I pray that in 2012, I will be able to say that I was faithful to Your Word and dependent on You for all my needs.

EDIT: JAN. 1, 2013

2012 was indeed a clean sweep. I moved from California to New York. I got a new job. Got a new car. Changed churches. Everything about me has changed except for my relationship with God - and I can honestly say that my faith has anchored me throughout the changes. It’s definitely helped make this huge transition a smooth one for me.

2013 - A Clear View. This year, I believe it will truly be the year of revelation. Things in my life that I wasn’t sure about, like my purpose in being here, the reason why I have this spiritual gift set, and so on, will become clear this year. I see it as a clear view of a window that looks forward into the rest of my life.

Father, I pray that no matter what my future holds, I would find joy in serving you in whatever capacity you have me serve.

Death.

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:58:20 -0800

I’m a young person. I’ve been to more weddings than I have funerals. Because of this, the concept of death is much more a foreign concept to me than it is a personal reality.

Maybe that’s why it’s difficult to swallow. When I heard the news of a childhood friend passing away, it suddenly became a lot more real. I’m enraged at the idea that my facebook world wouldn’t pay their condolences (even if they didn’t even know the person). I’m perplexed by the world and how it continues to spin, even if I’m stopped at my tracks.

What hurts the most though, is that I’m reminded that the world I spent 24 years building is a fragile one. Not only did a childhood friend die, but part of my childhood along with it died as well. The hand of God is quick to peel off the delicate layers of my life. Who knows how long it will be before I am found completely unpeeled, naked, and found with nothing more than what I came with.

Ultimately though, this post isn’t about me. It’s not even about my friend passing. I write this to remind you, who still has air to breathe and a mind to understand, that we live in a stained glass world that is plummeting towards a concrete floor. Everything we hold dear in this world will shatter, and no human being created in God’s image should be okay with this futility. What hope do we have, if it’s not in Jesus Christ?

Lump.

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 20:12:51 -0800

A few days ago I found a lump on my body, and like most people, I checked WebMD. Also, like most people, I checked the symptoms and assumed it was the worst possible thing: cancer. Of course, the possibility of that happening is slim to none, but for some reason I had the deep-seated anxiety that my lump was the cancerous one.

Why does this happen? My heart can be so crippled with unnecessary fear, especially when nothing is certain until the results come in. As I wrestle with this, I realized that it’s because of the devastating power of the future.

The future takes a small seed of doubt and transforms it into a forest of despair. It seemingly replaces the present with the most crippling possible future satan can conjure up. It’s what makes you feel like you have cancer when you just have a stomach ache. It’s what makes you feel like you’re going to be shunned by your family and homeless when you fail a test. There is no situation that can’t be sinfully exaggerated, and I am guilty of doing it a lot.

Sure, those things can happen. Each minuscule decision we make can have eternal consequences. That’s how the crippling effect of the future gets its power.

I’m still waiting for the results of my ultrasound. But waiting for it will not hinder me so long as I have Jesus’ words in my heart.

“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

…Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Shooting.

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:48:00 -0800

Meet Deborah. This was her first time shooting a real gun, and she shot a near bulls-eye. It was pretty impressive (and a little scary), but she laughed it off as if she’d been poppin’ caps her whole life. As intriguing as her first shot was though, the rest of the round showed that she was not actually a skilled secret agent.

My results were more or less the same. Fairly adequate for a first-time shooter, but there were still holes all over the place. It was a stark reminder of sin to me, as the common definition used in the bible for sin is “missing the mark”. While this definition doesn’t depict the terror of how devastating sin really is, it did point out something very insightful: I was always aiming for the bulls-eye every time I missed.

My intentions were always to hit the mark, but my actions rarely ever amounted to it. The same can be said for my spiritual life. No matter how much I strive for holiness, I always find a way to miss. Other times, I have a motive other than glorifying God and those times I’m aiming for the wrong target altogether! Now I know the struggle that Paul describes in Romans 7:18 when he writes,

“For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

Perfection is really. hard. I know it’s a struggle to do the right thing, but I didn’t know it could be this difficult. I didn’t know it could be this frustrating, and I didn’t know I could feel so powerless at times.

But.

“Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ, our Lord!”